Alles oor Jen

To hear Jen's story on Focus on the Family, please click here.

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Jen grew up with her siblings at the beach, but sadly, Hawaii wasn't perfect. Jen was abused as a young girl and then again when she was 12 years old. Not having any to talk to, she rebelled and that started her on a long path of bad decisions about men.

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Jen recalls, "Unfortunately, I turned to the wrong things to hide my pain. At 15, I had my first boyfriend. He was 18 and on his way to college. Little did I know he had a bet going on with his friends to see how many girls he could “conquer” before he left for school. He got me drunk and I was date raped."

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"Soon after, I fell hard for a boy who I thought was the love of my life. We dated for a while and then I got pregnant in the 10th grade. I was pushed into the decision that there was no way I could have this baby. But seep down, I truly wanted to keep it and knew how terribly wrong it was to get an abortion. Finally, I succumbed to the pressure. I felt that I had no where to turn. I did the unthinkable and at age 16 I got an abortion."

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"After the abortion, I vowed never to have children. How could I be a good mother when I killed my first baby? Having no-one to reach out to, I became involved with drinking and led a promiscuous lifestyle. I struggled with this for many years and went to counseling numerous times in attempt to “get over it.” But that pain never seemed to go away.

 

"Thinking I should try to do it God’s way, I got married after just six months of meeting someone. I divorced this abusive man and proceeded on to the next bad relationship."

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"I started competing in the fitness competitions and did fairly well. I won the Ms. Fitness Hawaii and the Ms. Fitness Colorado competition. The photographers wanted to take pictures of me for the magazines and I was thrilled that someone thought I was pretty. My self esteem plummeted after the abuse and the abortion and I just wanted to feel special again. Regretfully, I posed for photos that I wish I never had done. Sadly, at that point in my life, I was so far away from God that it didn’t care what happened to me. Satan was in my ear each and everyday telling me that it was the best thing to do for my career. Stupidly, I listened. I gave in. I sold my soul to the devil."

 

But God... (Probably the two best words in the world!)

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...was always watching out for me during those dark, horrible years. Even when I was so far away from Him. God never gave up on me. He could see my the plan that He wrote for my life and knew that I would soon be giving my self back to Him and telling my story for His Glory and not mine.

 

He also knew that the only way He was going to get my attention was through a man. That’s when my husband entered the picture. In September of 1999, I met my husband Dan. We had both been dating, but he wanted more. On our first date he informed me that he wanted to get married. I was not ready, but I likes his honesty.

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When I met Dan, I was in a terrible place and I knew what I was doing was wrong. I was trying desperately to get out of the adult club, but felt trapped. Dan took me to church with him, but it was very hard for me to sit in service and hear God's Word. I'd cry throughout the entire service. The guilt that I felt from my past mistakes began to suffocate me. I became very confused and jealous. I didn't know who I was. The sexy fitness model or a child of the Most High God. It took many years of counseling and prayer to finally be set free from my past.

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Then, something happened. God began working on my heart and preparing me for a brand new season in my life.

Dan and I fell in love and began planning our life together, but we had a long road ahead of us. The men in my past had destroyed much of my heart. Our first year of marriage were full of struggles. We talked about divorce. We are both very hard-headed and Dan had his painful past to contend with, too. We worked hard on our relationship and hung in there. We both worked long hours and tried everything to make our personal training business succeed, but we were doing it our way, and not God’s way.  We didn't stop to ask God what His plan was for our life.

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As we entered our fifth year of marriage and we decided it was time to have a baby. I had put it off for a long time. I was so scared of losing my body and afraid that I wasn’t going to be a good mother.

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Financially, starting a family would be a strain on us, and I did not want a baby unless I could be a stay-at-home mom, like my mother was. My not working would take away half of our income. In my heart, I believed that God would provide for our needs and He always has. Some months have been really tight,  but we still have a roof over our heads and there is always food on the table.

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Then something happened when I became pregnant. Even though I was a Christian and had accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I still didn’t know Him. But during this pregnancy, I grew closer to God than ever before. There was never a day that went by that I didn’t pray for my baby. I prayed for health, joy and wisdom for my baby every day. And each week I researched the baby’s development, and then I prayed for that specific body part that was developing. And you know what? God answered every prayer for my child. Micah Kekoa Polimino came into this world on August 5, 2005, and I have never been happier in my life.

I used to say, “I’m never having kids, no way.” Thank the Lord that He had different plans for me. He has blessed me so much with this beautiful little soul. God answered every specific thing I asked for. Micah is a very healthy child. He was one of the happiest babies in the world—he rarely cried as a baby. He started smiling, and I mean real smiles, at four weeks old.

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I had prayed for joy and wisdom and God has blessed him with a tremendous memory. At 24 months he could recite the 23rd Psalm and the Lord’s Prayer. Praise God! And he learned at least 15 Bible verses by three years old. Because of him, I know them too. I can honestly say that my children are the reason I am closer in my walk with the Lord than ever before.

Every day, God is teaching me something about Himself through this little boy. He’s teaching me about compassion and grace; about unconditional love and trust. And now the best thing is that Micah is now an older brother. Malia Grace came into our lives on March 19, 2008. She is as much of a blessing as her brother. I can see that the special prayers I’ve prayed for her are already coming to pass. She is as caring, compassionate and has wisdom beyond her years. As you can see, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done in your past. I’m not a perfect mother—far from it—but I do my best. And most importantly, I teach my kids about Jesus, our Lord and Savior.